Interviewer: So what Diet are you on?
This is how you shed the Disney image.
This looks really good.
these are my kittens, yes they meow weird, but they are mine. i found them all on my own. they are my ohana. back the fuck off camera.
are you fucking kidding me
#forcibly cuddles babies to stomach
are we not gonna talk about how she flashes her claws when they get to fucking close to her duckens?
my dad was taking me driving and after i parked i got out and checked then shouted “IM STRAIGHT-well at least my parking job is” and my dad slams his hand onto the dashboard and goes “YOU COULDNT HAVE WAITED UNTIL COLLEGE TO MAKE THAT JOKE NOW I OWE YOUR MOM TEN BUCKS I DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD ADMIT IT YET” so thats the story of how my parents have been betting on when id come out
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
All I really want right now is for someone to sleep with me, like actually fall asleep with me. Wrapped up in my arms, tucked tightly under the blankets and our legs intertwined. And then just be there in the morning when I open my eyes, please.